Post by Whiskers on Dec 22, 2005 17:40:31 GMT -5
The Zombie Chronicles
By Whiskers and Kyle
By Whiskers and Kyle
PART 1:
The Steak Sauce
The Steak Sauce
TYLER AND KYLE
Walk into the house from the front door, closing it behind them.
KYLE
Looks at TYLER.
KYLE:
Hey, what's that?
Hey, what's that?
TYLER
Looks down.
TYLER'S HAND
Is holding a bottle of A-1 Steak Sauce.
TYLER
Looks at KYLE.
TYLER:
Some A-1 Steak Sauce.
Some A-1 Steak Sauce.
KYLE
thingys an eyebrow at TYLER.
KYLE:
Where'dja get it from?
Where'dja get it from?
TYLER
Shrugs.
TYLER:
The cemetery down the road.
The cemetery down the road.
KYLE
Gapes at TYLER.
KYLE:
Why the Hell'd you take it?
Why the Hell'd you take it?
TYLER
Cups his chin with a hand and flashes back.
FLASHBACK:
TYLER
Is walking along in a graveyard. Suddenly, he comes across a bottle of A-1 Steak Sauce. He grabs it.
TYLER
Dances about.
END FLASHBACK
TYLER
Points at KYLE.
TYLER:
You told me to go ahead and grab something to eat . . . isn't A-1 Steak Sauce a kind of food?
You told me to go ahead and grab something to eat . . . isn't A-1 Steak Sauce a kind of food?
KYLE
Lets-out a sigh and points to the kitchen off-screen.
KYLE:
Well, at least put it away so it doesn't get warm or whatever steak sauce does.
Well, at least put it away so it doesn't get warm or whatever steak sauce does.
TYLER
Salutes KYLE.
TYLER:
Yes, sir!
Yes, sir!
KYLE
Sits down on the recliner in the living room and turns on the TV. Reservoir Dogs is on.
TYLER
Walks into the kitchen and opens the fridge.
TYLER'S HAND
Puts the A-1 Steak Sauce into the fridge.
THE FRONT DOOR
The doorbell rings.
KYLE
Looks at TYLER (O.S.).
KYLE:
Can you get that?
TYLER
Closes the fridge and walks to the front door.
TYLER'S HAND
Turns the doorknob.
ZOMBIE
Stands on the front porch.
ZOMBIE:
Excuse me, but I do believe you have my A-1 Steak Sauce.
Excuse me, but I do believe you have my A-1 Steak Sauce.
TYLER
Slams the front door.
ZOMBIE
Stands on the front porch.
ZOMBIE:
That was quite rude.
That was quite rude.
TYLER
Turns and looks at KYLE.
TYLER:
Kyle, we're in trouble.
KYLE looks at TYLER.
KYLE:
What do you mean?
What do you mean?
TYLER:
Guess who that was at the door.
KYLE:
Leonard Nemoy?
Leonard Nemoy?
TYLER shakes his head.
KYLE:
Who was it?
TYLER:
The zombie who owned that A-1 Steak Sauce. He wants it back!
KYLE:
Then just give it to him.
TYLER:
No, never! That steak sauce is mine! I've already danced for it and everything!
Who was it?
TYLER:
The zombie who owned that A-1 Steak Sauce. He wants it back!
KYLE:
Then just give it to him.
TYLER:
No, never! That steak sauce is mine! I've already danced for it and everything!
KYLE raises an eyebrow at TYLER.
KYLE:
You did what?
TYLER:
It doesn't matter now, but we have to leave!
You did what?
TYLER:
It doesn't matter now, but we have to leave!
ZOMBIE
Runs into the house behind TYLER.
KYLE
Gets up.
KYLE AND TYLER
Run through the kitchen and out the back door into the night.
TYLER
Runs ahead of KYLE and bumps into the ZOMBIE.
KYLE
Turns and bumps into the ZOMBIE.
KYLE AND TYLER
Back away, terrified!
KYLE
Points over the ZOMBIE's shoulder.
KYLE:
Look! It's Britany Spears!
Look! It's Britany Spears!
ZOMBIE looks where KYLE is pointing.
ZOMBIE:
Mrs. Spears! Mrs. Spears, I'm your biggest fan!
Mrs. Spears! Mrs. Spears, I'm your biggest fan!
KYLE AND TYLER
Run past the ZOMBIE and into the garage via the side garage door.
KYLE
Slams the door behind him and TYLER.
KYLE AND TYLER
Run through the garage and out onto the sidewalk, turning to their left.
ZOMBIE
Slams open the side garage door.
ZOMBIE:
Ooga-booga!
Ooga-booga!
ZOMBIE
Shambles through the garage and turns after KYLE and TYLER (both O.S.).
RANDY
Stands on the sidewalk in front of the ZOMBIE, smoking.
RANDY:
Hey, what's the big idea, making noise so late at night?
Hey, what's the big idea, making noise so late at night?
ZOMBIE
Descends upon RANDY.
RANDY
Screams like a little girl!
KYLE AND TYLER
Run onto the front porch of their neighbor's house.
TYLER'S HAND
Rings the doorbell.
THE DOOR
After a moment, MICHAEL answers it.
MICHAEL:
Hey, what's up?
Hey, what's up?
TYLER
Looks behind him, then at MICHAEL.
TYLER:
There's somebody after Kyle and me!
KYLE:
Can we please come in?
There's somebody after Kyle and me!
KYLE:
Can we please come in?
MICHAEL
Steps aside.
MICHAEL:
Yeah, sure, come on in.
Yeah, sure, come on in.
KYLE AND TYLER
Dart into the house, then MICHAEL closes the door behind them.
MICHAEL
Turns to KYLE and TYLER.
MICHAEL:
So, who's after you two?
So, who's after you two?
THE DOOR
As the doorbell rings.
MICHAEL
Locks the door.
MICHAEL:
Who's there?
ZOMBIE (O.S.):
Rrrr!!
MICHAEL:
What?
ZOMBIE (O.S.):
Growl!
MICHAEL:
Huh?
ZOMBIE (O.S.):
(Imitating RANDY perfectly) Hey, open up the damn door!
Who's there?
ZOMBIE (O.S.):
Rrrr!!
MICHAEL:
What?
ZOMBIE (O.S.):
Growl!
MICHAEL:
Huh?
ZOMBIE (O.S.):
(Imitating RANDY perfectly) Hey, open up the damn door!
MICHAEL
Unlocks the door and opens it.
ZOMBIE
Stands on the front porch.
MICHAEL
Smiles.
MICHAEL:
Hey, Kyle, Tyler, look! It's Leonard Nemoy!
Hey, Kyle, Tyler, look! It's Leonard Nemoy!
ZOMBIE
Pushes MICHAEL against the wall.
MICHAEL
His head hits the wall with a large CRACK. MICHAEL falls to the ground, unconscious.
ZOMBIE
Enters the house.
ZOMBIE
Points at KYLE.
ZOMBIE:
You!
You!
KYLE
Points at himself.
KYLE:
Me?
Me?
ZOMBIE
Nods.
KYLE
Shakes his head, then gestures at TYLER.
KYLE:
No, no, no, it's him you want.
No, no, no, it's him you want.
ZOMBIE
Nods.
ZOMBIE:
Ahh, ok.
Ahh, ok.
ZOMBIE points at TYLER.
ZOMBIE:
You!
You!
TYLER
Gestures at himself.
TYLER:
Me?
Me?
ZOMBIE
Nods.
ZOMBIE:
Yes. You.
Yes. You.
KYLE
Picks up a tennis ball and chucks it at the ZOMBIE (O.S.).
THE TENNIS BALL
Flies through the air.
ZOMBIE
The tennis ball hits him square in the forehead and he falls down.
TYLER DELFIGGALO
Rushes into the room and looks from KYLE to TYLER.
TYLER D:
Who are you guys?
Who are you guys?
KYLE AND TYLER
Look at each other, then at TYLER D.
KYLE:
The neighbors.
TYLER:
Yeah, remember? Kyle and Tyler?
The neighbors.
TYLER:
Yeah, remember? Kyle and Tyler?
TYLER D
Nods, then points at something OFF-SCREEN.
TYLER D:
Then who's that?
Then who's that?
KYLE AND TYLER
Look to their right.
THE ZOMBIE
Lying on the ground.
THE ZOMBIE
Suddenly standing.
ZOMBIE:
Rrrr!!
Rrrr!!
KYLE AND TYLER
Are shocked.
TYLER D
Steps between the ZOMBIE and KYLE and TYLER.
TYLER D:
You two go. I'll take care of Mr. Nemoy here.
You two go. I'll take care of Mr. Nemoy here.
ZOMBIE
Sighs.
ZOMBIE:
I am not Leonard Nemoy!
I am not Leonard Nemoy!
TYLER D
Charges at the ZOMBIE.
ZOMBIE
Charges at TYLER D.
KYLE AND TYLER
Run through the garage door.
KYLE AND TYLER
Run through the garage and out into the sidewalk.
KYLE AND TYLER
Stop.
TYLER
Ponts down at the ground.
TYLER:
Look!
Look!
RANDY
Lies face-down on the sidewalk, obviously dead.
TYLER AND KYLE
Run past the body of RANDY and to their house.
KYLE AND TYLER
Run up their walkway.
THE FRONT DOOR
KYLE and TYLER run inside from it and slam the door behind them.
KYLE AND TYLER
Run down the hallway. KYLE falls against the wall, but TYLER darts into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.
ZOMBIE
Opens the front door and shambles inside of the house.
ZOMBIE
Shambles towards KYLE.
KYLE
Looks up at the ZOMBIE (O.S.) and screams in terror!
ZOMBIE
Leans down in front of KYLE and slams his head into the wall.
KYLE
Closes his eyes, unconscious.
ZOMBIE
Takes KYLE's arm and is about to bite into it when he stops.
ZOMBIE:
Hey . . . waitasecond.
Hey . . . waitasecond.
ZOMBIE
Drops KYLE's arm and stands up.
ZOMBIE
Walks through the living room and into the kitchen.
ZOMBIE
Opens the fridge and looks into it.
ZOMBIE'S HAND
Grabs the A-1 Steak Sauce.
ZOMBIE
Walks back through the living room.
ZOMBIE
Kneels in front of KYLE and takes his arm back into his hold.
A-1 STEAK SAUCE
Is poured onto KYLE's arm.
ZOMBIE
A-1 Steak Sauce in one hand, a thumbs-up in the other.
ANNOUNCER:
A-1 Steak Sauce. Yeah. It's that important.
A-1 Steak Sauce. Yeah. It's that important.
ZOMBIE
About to bite into KYLE's arm. Suddenly, a noise comes from OFF-SCREEN. ZOMBIE looks in that direction.
ZOMBIE:
Huh? What the---?
Huh? What the---?
ZOMBIE
Opens the bathroom door and steps inside.
KYLE
His eyes open.
TYLER
Hides in the bath-tub, eyes closed, mumbling prayers under his breath.
KYLE
Gets up and stumbles out of the hallway and into the living room.
ZOMBIE
Pulls the curtain away from the tub.
TYLER
Looks up at ZOMBIE.
TYLER:
Get out of here! I'm . . . um . . . taking a shower? Yeah, that's it: A shower! Don't you have any manners?
Get out of here! I'm . . . um . . . taking a shower? Yeah, that's it: A shower! Don't you have any manners?
ZOMBIE
Hangs his head.
ZOMBIE:
No. Me sorry.
No. Me sorry.
ZOMBIE turns and walks out of the bathroom, head hung, and closes the door behind him.
TYLER
Leaps out of the bath-tub and darts across the bathroom, opening the door.
TYLER
Opens the door and bumps into the ZOMBIE, who falls down.
ZOMBIE:
Oof!
Oof!
TYLER
Sees KYLE, leaning against the recliner.
TYLER
Rushes to KYLE's side and shakes him.
TYLER:
Kyle, are you ok?
Kyle, are you ok?
TYLER shakes KYLE harder.
TYLER:
Kyle?!?
Kyle?!?
KYLE
His eyes clear and he looks at TYLER.
KYLE:
He tried to eat me! With A-1 Steak Sauce!
He tried to eat me! With A-1 Steak Sauce!
TYLER
Nods.
TYLER:
We'll kill him later. Now get up, and let's come on!
We'll kill him later. Now get up, and let's come on!
TYLER
Helps KYLE up and the two walk out of the front door.
ZOMBIE
Watches all of this and shakes his fist.
ZOMBIE:
Zombie eat brain, but Zombie cannot swallow this injustice!
Zombie eat brain, but Zombie cannot swallow this injustice!
ZOMBIE
Stands in a circle of SMILING PEOPLE, pointing straight at the camera.
ZOMBIE:
Which is why, at Zombie University, we teach you to be a better zombie!
Which is why, at Zombie University, we teach you to be a better zombie!
ZOMBIE
Stands in front of a row of three ZOMBIES-IN-TRAINING.
ZOMBIES-IN-TRAINING:
Rrrr . . .
Rrrr . . .
ZOMBIE:
No, no, more from the throat! Rrrr!!!
No, no, more from the throat! Rrrr!!!
ZOMBIES-IN-TRAINING:
Rrrrrrr!!!!
ZOMBIE:
Much better!
Rrrrrrr!!!!
ZOMBIE:
Much better!
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 1
Points at himself.
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 1:
I went to Zombie University, and look at me now!
I went to Zombie University, and look at me now!
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 1 acts like a zombie.
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 2
Looks at the camera.
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 2:
At Zombie University, I got my Ph. D. . . . in scare!
At Zombie University, I got my Ph. D. . . . in scare!
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 2 gives two thumbs-up.
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 3
Looking at the camera.
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 3:
At Zombie University, we have the finest undead faculty and teachers!
At Zombie University, we have the finest undead faculty and teachers!
ZOMBIE GRADUATE 3 gives the camera a cheesy smile and a thumbs-up.
ZOMBIE GRADUTES 1, 2, AND 3
All act like zombies.
ZOMBIE
Stands among the SMILING PEOPLE, all of whom are now . . . well, standing.
ZOMBIE:
So, pick-up a free brochure, or call us toll free at 1-800----
So, pick-up a free brochure, or call us toll free at 1-800----
TYLER
Runs by and tackles the ZOMBIE. He roots through the ZOMBIE's pockets and brings out the A-1 Steak Sauce, then runs away.
TYLER:
Ah-ha!
Ah-ha!
TYLER D
Sits, slumped against the wall, clutching his chest. He reaches over and shakes MICHAEL's shoulder.
TYLER D:
Hey. Hey, Michael.
Hey. Hey, Michael.
MICHAEL'S FACE
As TYLER D shakes him.
TYLER D:
Hey. Wake up.
Hey. Wake up.
MICHAEL's eyes suddenly open.
MICHAEL
Looks at TYLER D.
MICHAEL:
Tyler, what happened?
Tyler, what happened?
TYLER D
Just shakes his head.
TYLER D:
Some Leonard Nemoy look-alike tried to kill Tyler and Kyle from next door. He got me bad, Michael. I think I'm dying.
Some Leonard Nemoy look-alike tried to kill Tyler and Kyle from next door. He got me bad, Michael. I think I'm dying.
MICHAEL
Sits upright.
MICHAEL:
You are not dying.
You are not dying.
TYLER D
Removes his hand from his chest.
MICHAEL
His eyes widen and he puts a hand over his mouth.
MICHAEL:
Oh my God! You are dying!
Oh my God! You are dying!
TYLER D
Glares at MICHAEL.
TYLER D:
Thanks a lot for giving me hope. BLECK!!!
Thanks a lot for giving me hope. BLECK!!!
TYLER D falls over, dead.
MICHAEL
Kneels over TYLER D's body.
MICHAEL:
Nnnnnnnnooooooooooooo------
Nnnnnnnnooooooooooooo------
MICHAEL looks at something OFF-SCREEN.
MICHAEL:
------Oooooh, a donut!
------Oooooh, a donut!
MICHAEL scampers OFF-SCREEN.
TYLER
Runs over to KYLE.
TYLER:
I got the A-1 Steak Sauce!
I got the A-1 Steak Sauce!
KYLE
Looks at TYLER.
KYLE:
Why is it that every time we talk about the A-1 Steak Sauce, we call it the A-1 Steak Sauce?
Why is it that every time we talk about the A-1 Steak Sauce, we call it the A-1 Steak Sauce?
TYLER
Shrugs.
TYLER:
Hey, somebody had to fund this film! It may as well be the makers of . . .
Hey, somebody had to fund this film! It may as well be the makers of . . .
TYLER holds up the A-1 Steak Sauce and gives the camera a thumbs-up.
TYLER:
. . . A-1 Steak Sauce!
. . . A-1 Steak Sauce!
KYLE
Rolls his eyes.
ZOMBIE (O.S.):
Give me back my A-1 Steak Sauce!
Give me back my A-1 Steak Sauce!
KYLE AND TYLER
Run down the street.
MICHAEL
Eating a donut.
MICHAEL:
I will avenge your death, Tyler DelFiggallo . . . as soon as I finish eating this donut!
I will avenge your death, Tyler DelFiggallo . . . as soon as I finish eating this donut!
ZOMBIE
Runs down the street.
KYLE AND TYLER
Run onto the bike trail.
MICHAEL
Slams open his door and runs down the street in fast-motion.
KYLE AND TYLER
Back down the bike trial.
KYLE AND TYLER
Back into the ZOMBIE.
ZOMBIE:
Rrrrrr!!!
Rrrrrr!!!
KYLE AND TYLER
Fall to the ground, terrified!
ZOMBIE
Stands over the two, triumphant.
MICHAEL (O.S.):
Hey, Leonard!
Hey, Leonard!
ZOMBIE
Turns.
MICHAEL
Stands behind the ZOMBIE, shovel in hand.
MICHAEL:
Nemoy on this!
Nemoy on this!
ZOMBIE
Shakes his fist at MICHAEL.
ZOMBIE:
I am not Leonard Nemoy! My name is---
I am not Leonard Nemoy! My name is---
MICHAEL
Swings the shovel down.
THE SHOVEL
Is brought down.
ZOMBIE'S HEAD
As the shovel hits it.
ZOMBIE:
Ow!
Ow!
ZOMBIE
Falls over, dead.
END OF FIRST PART
PART 2:
TYLER AND KYLE'S WALK
TYLER AND KYLE'S WALK
TYLER AND KYLE
Starts walking home from a store. This story all takes place in one shot.
TYLER:
Get anything you wanted?
KYLE:
Yeah.
TYLER:
Are you gonna open it now or later?
KYLE:
Probably later.
TYLER:
Remember when I liked that game?
KYLE:
Yeah.
TYLER:
Was I any good at it?
KYLE:
You were a decent Magic Card player; one of the better ones.
TYLER:
Cool. And how's Aaron?
KYLE:
Better than you; almost as good as me. Remember that last pre-release I went to?
TYLER:
Yeah.
KYLE:
I made it further than Aaron did. I actually won some cards.
TYLER:
Did Aaron?
KYLE:
Nope.
Get anything you wanted?
KYLE:
Yeah.
TYLER:
Are you gonna open it now or later?
KYLE:
Probably later.
TYLER:
Remember when I liked that game?
KYLE:
Yeah.
TYLER:
Was I any good at it?
KYLE:
You were a decent Magic Card player; one of the better ones.
TYLER:
Cool. And how's Aaron?
KYLE:
Better than you; almost as good as me. Remember that last pre-release I went to?
TYLER:
Yeah.
KYLE:
I made it further than Aaron did. I actually won some cards.
TYLER:
Did Aaron?
KYLE:
Nope.
A moment of silence and walking.
TYLER:
I wonder what three percent milk tastes like.
KYLE:
I hate milk.
TYLER:
I know, I know, but I wonder what three percent tastes like.
KYLE:
You'd probably explode if you drank it.
TYLER:
What?
KYLE:
Nothing . . .
TYLER:
Yeah, you're scaring me now.
KYLE:
Well, think about it: Three percent milk!
TYLER:
Yeah . . . ?
KYLE:
Ugh, nevermind. Have you even ever seen three percent milk?
TYLER:
Yeah. It had one of those purple covers on it.
I wonder what three percent milk tastes like.
KYLE:
I hate milk.
TYLER:
I know, I know, but I wonder what three percent tastes like.
KYLE:
You'd probably explode if you drank it.
TYLER:
What?
KYLE:
Nothing . . .
TYLER:
Yeah, you're scaring me now.
KYLE:
Well, think about it: Three percent milk!
TYLER:
Yeah . . . ?
KYLE:
Ugh, nevermind. Have you even ever seen three percent milk?
TYLER:
Yeah. It had one of those purple covers on it.
Another moment of silence.
TYLER:
You gonna open that pack soon?
KYLE:
Nope.
TYLER:
Ever?
KYLE:
Of course I'm going to open it! Once we get home!
TYLER:
Alright, alright; no need to go "Commando" on me. Kyle King: Magic Card Commando!
KYLE:
Shut up.
TYLER:
Fine, fine.
You gonna open that pack soon?
KYLE:
Nope.
TYLER:
Ever?
KYLE:
Of course I'm going to open it! Once we get home!
TYLER:
Alright, alright; no need to go "Commando" on me. Kyle King: Magic Card Commando!
KYLE:
Shut up.
TYLER:
Fine, fine.
Another moment of silence.
TYLER:
So, did you hear about that five hundred-car pile-up the other day?
KYLE:
The one with only one death?
TYLER:
Yeah, that's the one.
KYLE:
Yeah; who didn't?
TYLER:
Well, I don't know who didn't, but I do know who's being buried in that cemetery down the street from us.
KYLE:
The Zombie Cemetery?
TYLER:
That's the one.
KYLE:
So who's being buried there?
TYLER:
The one casualty.
KYLE:
You mean that Leonard Nemoy look-alike?
TYLER:
Yeah, that guy.
KYLE:
Do you think the actual Leonard Nemoy is going to show up?
TYLER:
Um . . . yeah, Kyle, sure he is . . .
KYLE:
Yes! I'll need to get his autograph!
So, did you hear about that five hundred-car pile-up the other day?
KYLE:
The one with only one death?
TYLER:
Yeah, that's the one.
KYLE:
Yeah; who didn't?
TYLER:
Well, I don't know who didn't, but I do know who's being buried in that cemetery down the street from us.
KYLE:
The Zombie Cemetery?
TYLER:
That's the one.
KYLE:
So who's being buried there?
TYLER:
The one casualty.
KYLE:
You mean that Leonard Nemoy look-alike?
TYLER:
Yeah, that guy.
KYLE:
Do you think the actual Leonard Nemoy is going to show up?
TYLER:
Um . . . yeah, Kyle, sure he is . . .
KYLE:
Yes! I'll need to get his autograph!
Another moment of silence.
TYLER:
I'm hungry.
KYLE:
Then go ahead of me and grab something to eat, then come back.
TYLER:
Alright.
I'm hungry.
KYLE:
Then go ahead of me and grab something to eat, then come back.
TYLER:
Alright.
TYLER runs ahead of KYLE. A few minutes pass. Right before KYLE gets to their house, TYLER jogs up to him. KYLE looks at TYLER.
KYLE:
What too ya so long?
TYLER:
I was just looking at the Zombie Cemetery.
KYLE:
Oh, alright.
What too ya so long?
TYLER:
I was just looking at the Zombie Cemetery.
KYLE:
Oh, alright.
KYLE and TYLER start up their porch and open the front door.
END OF SECOND PART
PART 3:
TONY, VINNIE, KNUCKLES McGEE, AND THE UNDEAD
TONY, VINNIE, KNUCKLES McGEE, AND THE UNDEAD
TYLER
Is walking along in a graveyard. Suddenly, he comes across a bottle of A-1 Steak Sauce. He grabs it.
TYLER
Dances about and away.
A MOUND OF DIRT
It starts to shake. Suddenly . . . a decomposing hand shoots out of it!
ZOMBIE
Walks along the sidewalk of the night.
ZOMBIE
Starts skipping and singing.
ZOMBIE:
I'm alive,
I'm alive,
Holy cow!
I'm alive!
Once upon a time, I used to be dead!
I had a chunk taken out of my head!
You should've seen the head wounds,
They were gory and red!
But I'm alive,
I'm alive,
I'm ali-i-ive!
I'm alive,
I'm alive,
Holy cow!
I'm alive!
Once upon a time, I used to be dead!
I had a chunk taken out of my head!
You should've seen the head wounds,
They were gory and red!
But I'm alive,
I'm alive,
I'm ali-i-ive!
ZOMBIE
Kneels in the streets.
ZOMBIE:
Yeah!
Yeah!
A CAR
Runs over the ZOMBIE and drives away.
ZOMBIE
Lies in the street. He sits upright, and we see his head is on backwards. He twists it back the right way and stands up, dusting himself off.
ZOMBIE
Walks merrily down the sidewalk.
ZOMBIE:
Boy, oh, boy! I'm alive!
Boy, oh, boy! I'm alive!
A WOMAN
Walks by the ZOMBIE.
ZOMBIE
Smiles at the WOMAN.
ZOMBIE:
Evenin', Miss.
Evenin', Miss.
THE WOMAN
Screams and runs away.
ZOMBIE
Looks at the ground.
ZOMBIE:
I guess I don't look too good . . .
I guess I don't look too good . . .
ZOMBIE shrugs and continues prancing down the sidewalk.
A CAR
Stops on the curb next to the ZOMBIE and a MAN hops out of the car. The MAN grabs ZOMBIE and pulls him into the car before getting in himself. The car drives away.
ZOMBIE
Sits in the car between the MAN and ANOTHER MAN.
ZOMBIE:
Um . . . evenin', folks!
OTHER MAN:
Don't give us that!
Um . . . evenin', folks!
OTHER MAN:
Don't give us that!
A moment of silence.
MAN:
We need your help, Zombie.
ZOMBIE:
What do you need?
OTHER MAN:
Recently Tommy and me . . . we . . . misplaced an item that's very important to us.
ZOMBIE:
What was it?
TOMMY:
We'll get to that, but first Vinnie and me're tellin' ya whatcha need to know. You got a problem wit dat, you can take it up with ole' Knuckles McGee here.
We need your help, Zombie.
ZOMBIE:
What do you need?
OTHER MAN:
Recently Tommy and me . . . we . . . misplaced an item that's very important to us.
ZOMBIE:
What was it?
TOMMY:
We'll get to that, but first Vinnie and me're tellin' ya whatcha need to know. You got a problem wit dat, you can take it up with ole' Knuckles McGee here.
The driver of the car, KNUCKLES McGEE, cracks his knuckles.
TOMMY:
So . . . what's it gonna be?
So . . . what's it gonna be?
ZOMBIE:
Uh . . . tell me about the job . . . uh . . . Vinnie and Tommy.
VINNIE:
Good. Now then, this item has just recently fallen into possesion of a one "Tyler K."
ZOMBIE:
And you want me to get this item back for you two?
Uh . . . tell me about the job . . . uh . . . Vinnie and Tommy.
VINNIE:
Good. Now then, this item has just recently fallen into possesion of a one "Tyler K."
ZOMBIE:
And you want me to get this item back for you two?
TOMMY smiles and nods.
TOMMY:
Adda boy!
Adda boy!
TOMMY ruffles ZOMBIE's hair.
ZOMBIE:
So, what is it you guys need back?
So, what is it you guys need back?
A moment of silence.
ZOMBIE:
I said---
I said---
VINNIE starts crying. TOMMY looks over the ZOMBIE at VINNIE.
TOMMY:
What's wrong, Vinnie?
VINNIE:
(Crying) I miss it! So much!
What's wrong, Vinnie?
VINNIE:
(Crying) I miss it! So much!
VINNIE lets-out a sob.
VINNIE:
(Crying) And I can't even begin to . . . to fathom what those good-fre-nothin's are doin' to it right now!
ZOMBIE:
Well, what is it?
(Crying) And I can't even begin to . . . to fathom what those good-fre-nothin's are doin' to it right now!
ZOMBIE:
Well, what is it?
TOMMY looks at ZOMBIE.
TOMMY:
A bottle of . . . A-1 Steak Sauce.
A bottle of . . . A-1 Steak Sauce.
VINNIE lets-out another sob.
ZOMBIE:
And you need me to get this A-1 Steak Sauce back from this . . .
TOMMY:
Tyler K.
ZOMBIE:
Yeah, yeah, Tyler K.
TOMMY:
That's the job.
ZOMBIE:
Alright . . .
And you need me to get this A-1 Steak Sauce back from this . . .
TOMMY:
Tyler K.
ZOMBIE:
Yeah, yeah, Tyler K.
TOMMY:
That's the job.
ZOMBIE:
Alright . . .
A moment of silence.
ZOMBIE:
So . . . where's Knuckles driving us to?
TOMMY:
Tyler K.'s house.
So . . . where's Knuckles driving us to?
TOMMY:
Tyler K.'s house.
VINNIE stops crying.
VINNIE:
We're almost there . . .
ZOMBIE:
So, do you want me to kill Tyler K, or just get the A-1 Steak Sauce back?
TOMMY:
Just get the A-1 Steak Sauce.
VINNIE:
But if you get the chance, take-out Tyler K.
ZOMBIE:
Anything I need to know about this Tyler K.?
TOMMY:
He has a brother who may or may not be in on this "kidnapping."
ZOMBIE:
Anything else?
TOMMY:
Nope.
ZOMBIE:
And how do you know all of this?
VINNIE:
Does it matter?
ZOMBIE:
No, I suppose not . . .
We're almost there . . .
ZOMBIE:
So, do you want me to kill Tyler K, or just get the A-1 Steak Sauce back?
TOMMY:
Just get the A-1 Steak Sauce.
VINNIE:
But if you get the chance, take-out Tyler K.
ZOMBIE:
Anything I need to know about this Tyler K.?
TOMMY:
He has a brother who may or may not be in on this "kidnapping."
ZOMBIE:
Anything else?
TOMMY:
Nope.
ZOMBIE:
And how do you know all of this?
VINNIE:
Does it matter?
ZOMBIE:
No, I suppose not . . .
KNUCKLES clears his throat. VINNIE, ZOMBIE, and TOMMY all look at him.
VINNIE:
Yes?
KNUCKLES:
Yo, boss, we here.
Yes?
KNUCKLES:
Yo, boss, we here.
THE CAR
Comes to a screeching helt and ZOMBIE is thrown out of it onto the sidewalk. The car drives away behind him.
ZOMBIE
Gets up and dusts himself off. The camera pans around him and we see that he's standing in front of TYLER's and KYLE's house. ZOMBIE walks towards it.
ZOMBIE
Steps onto the front porch.
ZOMBIE'S HAND
Rings the doorbell.
ZOMBIE
Stands, waiting.
KYLE (O.S.):
Can you get that?
Can you get that?
We hear footsteps approach the door from the other side of it, and the doorknob turns. The door is opened.
END OF THIRD PART
THE END
THE END